


makes perfect

by jisquish



Series: stray kids requested drabbles! [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, i wrote this in a ten minute fever dream for give me, it was supposed 2 b softer than it was, its still soft tho uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15178199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisquish/pseuds/jisquish
Summary: Changbin tends to push himself too far. Thankfully, he'll always have Hyunjin and Felix to help him back up.





	makes perfect

**Author's Note:**

> anon requested: "writing prompts....lets see.... hyunchanglix ot3 with Felix and Hyunjin being super protective over Changbin. Just them being super soft in general."
> 
> im sorry idk what this turned into but it’s semi soft?? it got a lil angsty im sorry idk i hope u like <333
> 
> [warnings for a panic attack, starting @ “he runs through his rap” and ending at “He vaguely registers Hyunjin standing them both up” if u need to skip that]

Felix can't remember how long he’d been practicing for.

It feels like his body is on autopilot: hit play, dance, sweat, rewind, hit play, dance, where’s my water bottle? hit play, dance–

Someone hits pause.

He turns around, half exasperated and half relieved to find Hyunjin standing by the iPod, looking at him with a mix of fondness and concern. “Lix,” he says, voice rough and sleepy, “c’mon.”

Felix sighs, staring at the iPod with longing, but he knows Hyunjin’s right. He walks towards the dark-haired boy, dragging his feet and leaning gratefully into his side when Hyunjin drapes an arm around his shoulders, kissing him sloppily on the cheek. Felix laughs, pushing him away as they stumble almost drunkenly out of the practice room, exhaustion forgotten for a moment.

“Where’s Binnie?” he asks through a yawn, and Hyunjin shrugs.

“Back at the dorms, I think,” he replies, gnawing on his lower lip. “At least he better be, or I’m gonna beat his ass.” He sighs. “He hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately.”

Felix nods, mood souring for a bit. “He’s been kind of out of it.” He stares at his feet for a moment as they walk in content silence, hands entwined between them. “He’d tell us if he wasn’t okay, right?”

Hyunjin gives him a Look, and Felix sighs. “Yeah, okay, he wouldn’t.”

“It’s okay, though,” Hyunjin reassures him, squeezing his hand. “We’ll be there for him whether he wants us there or not.”

When they get back to the dorm, Felix is so sleepy he can barely stand upright.

Hyunjin can’t help but giggle at the sight of the younger boy swaying in the doorframe. He gently leads him to bed and helps him take off his shoes. Felix sleepily nuzzles into his pillow, reaching out blindly towards Hyunjin, who grabs his hand with a soft laugh and kisses the top of his head as he pulls the covers over him and watches the blonde boy drift almost immediately into sleep.

He checks the clock. 2 AM.

Still time for him to get some practice in, now that Felix is accounted for. He considers looking for his other boyfriend, but assumes that Changbin is either with Chan or asleep. He can’t imagine how Changbin would still be awake at this point–he’d practically nodded off in his cereal this morning–but he wouldn’t put it past him, so he sets off towards the studios.

Just to make sure.

There are the dance studios in the other building, but there are soundproof studios near their dorms that they use often to practice rap or vocals, especially when it’s late at night and the other members are asleep (or at least they’re supposed to be). So that’s where Hyunjin heads to, hoping against hope that he won’t find Changbin there. He hadn’t been looking very well as of late, a little skinner than he should be, face a little less color to it than normal, eyes a lot more tired than made Hyunjin happy. He knew Felix had noticed it too, had tried to compensate and show his appreciation for Binnie by turning up the affection, but neither of them really knew how to address it with him. Especially when they weren’t much better with their own work ethics.

Still, Changbin is decidedly the worst about watching his own health. (Second only to Chan himself.) So Hyunjin approaches the studio with determination.

-

Changbin is not doing so great.

He hasn’t slept in… a while. He’s not really sure how long. He also can’t quite recall when he last ate. He’s been drinking water, at least, because he has to in order to rap and write and sing and practice, which is what he’s been doing for what feels like ever, except he’s still just not good enough. It’s not enough. None of it has been enough.

He runs through his rap for the millionth time and fucks it up again. He knows he’s gotten too in his head about this, that he always performs well, but things will be okay, but he keeps thinking about that one time he dropped a mic or his voice cracked or his flow wasn’t as good as it could be and now it feels like the walls are closing in, like his blood has been replaced by a million liquid fire ants, like his skull is about to collapse in on his brain and everything is squeezing so tight and he can’t breathe and it hurts.

And he is crying. He doesn’t remember when that started, but suddenly he’s not standing anymore but kneeling on the floor, choking out sobs past a too tight ribcage. It feels like he can not breathe in hard enough to get the right amount of oxygen and like maybe he’ll never be able to again, that he will spend his life light-headed and constricted and with a fucked up chest. He can barely see past the floor two inches from his face, vision swimming.

This is not the first panic attack he’s had, but it’s among his worse.

He barely registers the click of the latch, or the light spilling into the dim room all of a sudden or the concerned voice calling his name, once, then louder. He only realises he’s not alone when a hand hits his back and he jerks violently, digging his palms into his eyes in an effort to get ahold of himself.

“Changbin,” someone–Hyunjin–is saying. The younger boy pulls Changbin close to his chest, holding his head against Hyunjin’s collarbone and rocking him as if on autopilot, and Changbin remembers Hyunjin telling him his younger brother had anxiety. “Binnie, I’m here, Binnie, please breathe, please breathe, baby.”

Hyunjin keeps rubbing circles into Changbin’s back as the older boy tries to choke back his sobs, and slowly, slowly, air fills his lungs again. His breathing is still shuddery, but he no longer feels as if he will die, and he collapses fully into Hyunjin’s warm embrace, still crying softly and shaken from the attack.

He vaguely registers Hyunjin standing them both up, and gently leading them out of the room. Changbin stumbles along blindly, still clutching the back of Hyunjin’s hoodie and face buried in the taller boy’s collarbone, hiccuping softly as they pad into the dorm and Hyunjin steers him towards a room that’s not his own, sitting him down on a bed that Changbin understands to be Hyunjin’s. There’s muffled motion across the room, then a hoarse whisper of “Jinnie? Changbin?”

 _Felix_ , Changbin thinks, and then starts crying all over again. He’s exhausted and drained and embarrassed and overall disappointed in himself, for not being able to stick it out, for not being as strong as the two boys he loves, for not being better.

Hyunjin sits down next to him and his strong arms wrap around Changbin’s torso, his chin landing on his shoulder as the younger boy continues whispering comforting words. He feels the bed jostle on the opposite side of him and assumes Felix has just sat down, confirmed when he feels two warm hands grab his own and Felix buries his face in Changbin’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin tries to stammer out, “I don’t know w-why–”

“Shh,” Felix says gently, massaging the older boy’s palm and leaning against him comfortingly. “Don’t apologize, baby. We know.”

They sit like that for a long time, until finally, finally, Changbin’s heart stops racing and he relaxes, exhausted, into Hyunjin’s hold. He squeezes Felix’s hand back before lifting his hand to wipe his (swollen, he’s sure) eyes.

“Sorry,” he mumbles again, and Hyunjin just shakes his hand.

“Lie down,” says the taller, gently maneuvering Changbin onto his pillow. For a moment he debates protesting–the bed’s just a twin, and definitely not the largest, but Changbin is still clutching Felix’s hand like a lifeline and so Hyunjin crawls into bed on the left side of Changbin, and Felix lies down on his right, the shortest in the middle.

Felix is still half asleep and quickly latches onto Changbin like a koala, again burying his face in the dark-haired boy’s neck and draping one long arm across his hoodie clad chest, legs tangling with Changbin’s as he quickly dozes off again. Changbin looks at the blonde fondly and Hyunjin just watches the both of them with a soft smile. With a contented sigh, he puts his head on Changbin’s chest and curls into his armpit.

“Please take better care of yourself, Binnie,” he mumbles after a few minutes of silence, lips numb from sleep. “We love you, ok?”

Since he has his ear to Changbin’s chest, he can feel his heart speed up slightly, and twists a little to look up at him. Upon making eye contact, Changbin smiles with that same fondness he always does. “Okay,” he whispers. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Both of you.”

“Starve, probably,” Hyunjin says with a snort, laughing at the teasing smack to the back of the head he gets for that comment. “Go to sleep, baby. You’re tired.”

Changbin just hums noncommittally, but his eyes quickly drift shut. Hyunjin watches his chest rise and fall for a bit before leaning up and placing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth and snuggling back in, the stress of earlier tonight already forgotten as he closes his eyes and falls asleep next to the two people he loves the most.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jisquishie) and [tumblr](https://jisquish.tumblr.com) <33


End file.
